Ten super-awkward moments new mums will know all about4 December, 2015
By Gill Crawshaw, A Baby on Board blog
What are the most awkward moments you face as a new mum? It’s fair to say they start before the baby is even born, with the embarrassment potential of pregnancy being almost as big as your massive baby bump. From shuffling nervously into the hospital waiting room clutching that ubiquitous tiny bottle, to heartburn, indigestion and checking your dignity in at the door of the delivery suite, the signs are all there.
But what about when your baby arrives? The enormity of the whole new situation, an unpredictable baby and your hormonal self means the possibility of awkward moments happening is huge.
So from backwards nappies to flashing the postman, here are ten incredibly awkward moments that most new mums are likely to face:
1. Being pretty clueless about, well, most things: Congratulations, you have a baby! But wait…they don’t come with an instruction manual? Sadly not. And it’s a minefield of embarrassing errors just waiting to happen, from proudly putting their very first nappy on, the wrong way round – and having someone else point it out to you – to having no idea how to fold your pram when you’re on a packed bus, despite having nodded along enthusiastically to several demos in the shop. But we’ve all been there *cough*. You’ll pick it all up, eventually – I promise!
2. When your boobs leak in public. Despite stocking up beforehand on a stack of breast pads the size of the Empire State Building, there won’t be single one on your person when you most need it. For some reason, this always happens in public when you’re wearing a grey marl top. No idea why, but it’s the new mum law.
3. A terribly timed change situation: Baby’s nappies always need changing at the most inconvenient time (usually, when you’re just about to leave the house and already late). There will always be a situation where the baby requires a full change of clothes in public, usually when you’re miles away from any kind of changing facility, and on public transport.
4. The one with the badly packed baby change bag. Most new mums tend to leave the house with a million nappies, ten spare vests and at least three packs of wipes. But there’s always one vital thing you forget, which you don’t realise it until you need it.
5. Your postman seeing more than they bargained for: Just settled down in your sofa nest for a long feed? Then the doorbell is bound to go. And you wouldn’t be the first new mum to answer it without remembering to do your top up first. Postman always rings twice? He definitely won’t be able to look you in the eye next time…
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6. The ongoing case of baby confusion: Every mum thinks their baby is the most beautiful baby ever born (I know everyone thinks that but of course yours is) But lots of babies start off looking like an old man, lets face it. Even so, it doesn’t explain why random strangers will always guess the wrong sex, despite the baby wearing head-to-toe pink or blue.
7. Someone thinking you’re still pregnant, months after having the baby. Having a baby bump seems to make you public property; everyone has a comment about your size. ‘You look like you’re just about to pop!’ is what no pregnant woman wants to hear at 20 weeks. And news flash: women don’t ping back into shape two minutes after having a baby, despite what the tabloid press would have you believe. Everyone knows someone who’s been asked ‘When’s the baby due?’ When the baby is asleep in the pram (Members of the public reading this, if you are in ANY doubt, don’t say anything at all. Someone’s fragile self-esteem relies on it).
29 weeks…means I’m having a baby pretty soon (yikes). New update on my blog. #pregnancy A photo posted by Gill Crawshaw (@gill_c) on
8. When you…what’s my name again? There’s an ongoing debate around scientific proof for the existence of baby brain, but as most new mums know, it’s a real thing. Really. Hormones, extreme sleep deprivation and having too many things to think about at once means you can be pretty lacking in the memory department. Baby brain has been responsible for many of my less-than-finest moments, from calling the bank to record a fraudulent payment that turned out to be me, to putting the cereal in the fridge and leaving entire bags of shopping on the shop counter (several times) meaning I had to go back to the shop and ‘fess up. Baby brain can also cause you to lose the words out of your mouth, meaning you’re fishing around for the end of the sentence mid-sentence while everyone looks at you expectantly. Parenting? As the saying goes in my friendship group, it’s never finishing a meal, never finishing a sentence.
9. When you’re tired and emotional. Motherhood tends to make most of us into emotional wrecks. The mix of tiredness and hormones means you’re often gulping back a tear just by watching adverts It’s just when you’re in public that it can get slightly embarrassing.
10. The first night out minus baby. This is a big, big deal and one you look forward to for ages. But the heady mix of freedom coupled with at least nine months off the booze makes you a total lightweight. You’re likely to be either tucked up in bed by 9pm, or dancing on a table after half a glass of wine.
If you’re a new mum, the good news about all of these is that we’ve all been there and can feel your pain. And having a baby removes most sense of shame, fear and embarrassment of your pre-baby self. So any of these awkward moments? You’ll deal with them no problem.
Any of these sound familiar?
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