15 absolute nightmare situations only new dads will understand27 November, 2015
I have a friend at work who doesn’t have children. He skips into work everyday full of life and energy for the day ahead of him. He pops his head round my door and asks me how my weekend or evening was and before I’ve had the chance to grunt back at him he divulges the details about his weekend of lie-ins, adult conversation and freedom to do as he wishes when he wishes. Only when he stops to draw breath have I mustered the energy to tell him about my sleep deprivation, the poo molecules still under my fingernails and the real reason why my shirt isn’t ironed.
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little here but the truth is that life before children is undeniably different and whilst I often have wonderful conversations with my work colleague, there are some things he just doesn’t understand… yet. Until of course, he has his own baby.
Perhaps this list of 15 absolute nightmare situations only new dads will understand will comfort you; to know that there is someone else, somewhere going through the same thing. Or maybe it will put you off having kids for life. Either way, I wouldn’t change having children for the world, but it would be nice, just once, to be able to leave the house by simply picking up my keys.
1. The moment you partner asks you to dress the baby. Potential Nightmare!
Now I like to pride myself on my ability to dress my son relatively well. That being said, it’s always a risky business when the responsibility is solely on my shoulders. There have been times I’ve nailed it and times I’ve flopped. It’s a nerve wracking business that’s for sure.
2. Waking up in the morning. Nightmare!
When you wake up with the uncertainty of whether your baby has slept through or not. You slept through the entire night, so you genuinely have no idea if it was a good or bad night. Despite my best efforts, this has happened on occasion. Do you ask your partner or not?
3. Realising you’re not immortal and that another human being is relying on you. Nightmare!
It suddenly dawned upon me that life insurance is probably a good idea and trawling through the old-school methods of finding some, is a whole nightmare on top of the first!
Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way. With Beagle Street you can get a quote online in just 10 minutes, and we’re up to 35% cheaper than other life insurers*.
*Average across 12 providers, Independent prices as published MoneyFacts September 2015. Figures based on 20-45 year olds, smoker and non- smoker, £100k level or decreasing term, for 25 and 30 years.
4. Giving your baby breakfast in your work clothes. Nightmare!
Why is it that I can give successful meals, with no mess or spillages 100% of the time, unless I’m wearing a suit!
5. Maternity shopping & post birth clothes shopping. NIGHTMARE!
Nothing fits, even when it does. Nothing looks nice, even when it does. Nothing is affordable, even when it is. Nothing you say helps, even when it… well, nothing you say helps.
6. Leaving the house. Nightmare!
Long gone are the days of simply putting your shoes on and grabbing the keys. Now you need a military precision check list just to step foot outside the house. This is why you’re always late and your friends without kids don’t understand…
7. Spending so much time with the in-laws. Nightmare!
In-laws are the type of family members that you love dearly, but from an arms length away. But when you have a baby, that arms length needs to decrease because you need all the help you can get.
8. Eating out. Nightmare!
We’ve worked out we have a 15 minute window of opportunity to guzzle down our food, pay the bill and get out the restaurant before all hell breaks loose.
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9. Sex. Nightmare!
Too tired for sex or not too tired for sex? That is the question. The answer depends on who, what, when, where, and why you ask.
10. Driving for longer than 15 minutes. NIGHTMARE!
The best way to forget about the hysterically crying baby in the back is to turn the radio up to the max. Obviously, I don’t do that but the crying baby is the reason I don’t visit anyone who lives more than 15 minutes away now. Sorry Sian & Sean who live in Wales!
11. When you’re asked if you want to ‘watch the game.’ NIGHTMARE!
Obviously, you do want to watch the game. But it starts at ‘tea time’ and goes on over ‘bath time’ and probably won’t be finished until after ‘bed time.’ What do you do?
12. Falling asleep on the train. Nightmare!
Missing your station because you’re so exhausted you couldn’t stay awake is a nightmare. But at least you get some actual uninterrupted sleep… maybe it’s not such a nightmare situation after all. “Er, yes darling, I slept through my station again…*ahem”
13. When you do things you said you never would. Nightmare!
As a man with pride, I find it very difficult that I always said I’d never this or do that and yet I now have!
14. A lack of communication. Nightmare!
The baby has just woken up, you’ve checked the nappy, you’ve offered food, you’ve made a bottle and still, they’re crying. They can’t talk yet, so what do you do? Nightmare!
15. Your toddler’s rude/awkward reactions to people. Nightmare!
You know those occasions when people go to great lengths to entertain and talk to your child and in response they get a great big… NOTHING! Or worse! Very embarrassing.
So there you have it, 15 absolute nightmare situations only new dads will understand. What would you add?
And remember, if you’re a new dad, now could be the perfect time to get your life insurance sorted. Get a quote with us online in just ten minutes.